ZODIAC GROUP CHAT [ZODIAC GROUP MEMBERS ONLY]

[kaisoumods]

Zodiac
If Opportunity Doesn't Knock
Build a Door


MEMBERS:

[OOC: this is a catch-all group chat for the Zodiac members to use however they'd like. This chat is open ONLY to Zodiac members and is not actually part of the Libra app (but their own separate network). ]

Comments

UN: janet_jodee | Text | 6/28

[kaisoumods]

[It's Friday afternoon and you only have a few more hours until it's the weekend. Just then, you get an email in your work inbox, leading you to an invite of a group text. And unfortunately, the message is from none other than Janet from PR aka the lady who is way too happy to be working here and always has an air of fake to her]

Hello everyone! Happy Friday!

I don't know if all of you know each other, but the seer department has submitted a request that you guys be put together in a group chat. They didn't elaborate on why, but boy who doesn't love a good mystery? It's not every day that department lists someone by name, so I'm sure whatever is in store for you guys will be something special! Oh, how lucky!

Speaking of mysteries, don't forget to bring something to next week's Fourth of July office potluck! I can't wait to see what things you guys come up with!

Okay, bye!!

Best,
Janet Jodee
Senior Public Relations Executive Manager

[Well then. ]

un: oriel

[machaerae]

[ Oh what fun new thing is being shoved down their throats this time -

- And being introduced by Janet of all people. Christ. ]

Why don't you just worry about what you're bringing, Janet.

[ Catty bitching aside. ]

Anyway. Hi, hello. If we haven't met yet, my name is Oriel and I work in the supernatural objects department. ✨

And does anyone else have any idea what this could be about?

[ Ori is pretty damn sure she hasn't gotten into shit again. ]

text; un: allin

[neverchanged]

If someone brings unseasoned potato salad again, we are going to have problems.

[GOD.]

Aventurine, Happiness Fulfillment. Technically. I'm doing more clerical work at the moment

Anywaaaay...

Whatever it was, I didn't do it this time, so don't look at me

UN: CamCotton

[creamcottonshepherd]

Oh, well then! This is certainly an unexpected end to the day isn't it?

I don't believe I haven't met anyone here...

Well. If that's the case, and we don't know what we're here for, there's no sense in fussing about it. I can give everyone a sneak peek at my potluck contribution instead!

I was going to try these wonderful 'Ice Pops' since it seems a bit warm for baking. There's even a little chili in them! It looks like such a fun recipe!

[Janet Will Die This Year]

un: o.kawabuchi

[deusversusmachina]

I'm bringing Costco chicken, Janet. Like I do every time we have an office potluck. It will be spicy, like every other time.

[That chunk of salt aside-]

For formality's sake, Ophelia Kawabuchi, Security. And considering I'm apparently here at the seer department's request, I'm not sure any of us are going to like what that implies.

UN: Susie

[secretarysusie]

A mystery? How very exciting.

[ Susie hates mysteries. ]

Hello, everybody! I believe most of us are already acquainted, but my name is Susie. I look forward to working with you all.

[ On... whatever this is. ]

un: r.nakahara; text; 7/19

[goodolrika]

So.

[Attached is a photo of Rika's car in the parking lot. A red, black, and gray dragon is partially draped onto the hood of the car.]

Might have a slight problem.

text; un: allin

[neverchanged]

I thought we had a pigeon problem but this looks worse

text - un: CamCotton

[creamcottonshepherd]

Now for that, I would recommend perhaps renting a farm plot.

Can you see their teeth dear?

[cotton now is not the time!!]

un: o.kawabuchi

[deusversusmachina]

[Oh. That's... actually kind of cute if she's honest, but also definitely a Problem.]

What's the nature of the problem? Do you need the dragon moved? Fed? Corralled into a specific location?

Text | UN: Susie

[secretarysusie]

Oh my! Where did that come from?

un: oriel

[machaerae]

Well then.

That certainly is a problem.

Maybe I can see if it will chase one of my illusions?

un: badnews

[whitestonelives]

Janet, if you’re reading this: I still have little to no interest in your potlucks and adding me to this group chat will not change it.

Anyway. Most of you I already know, but for those I haven’t met yet: this is Percy Randall, from R&D.

un: r.nakahara

[goodolrika]

Oh, you poor soul.

Anyway, hi, Percy. Honestly, I'm surprised people I actually like keep ending up in this chat.

un: CamCotton

[creamcottonshepherd]

Oh hello there Percy!

We've determined she was quite upset about my chocolate chili ice pops!

[cotton you know damn well what you did] Have you been well beyond this bit of a mess? We might need a bit of your help I'm afraid.

un: oriel

[machaerae]

Oh, fresh meat!

Anyway hi Percy welcome this mess, I'll need to pick your brain later about this whole bifrost business.

text; un: badnews | 08/26

[whitestonelives]

With the Black Order taken care of for good, I have some paperwork now that severely needs updating. But before I get to that, I'd like to tell you all the reason why it needs updating:

My last name isn't Randall. My full name is Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, though most of you can call me Percy. Janet, if you're reading this, you are not among that number and I insist that you use my full name when addressing me.

un: oriel

[machaerae]

aha i see

thank you for telling us!

im never calling you by your full name btw percy

UN: janet_jodee | Text | 9/3

[kaisoumods]

[Did you enjoy your Labor Day weekend? Great! Its time to get back to work, as Tuesday morning you'll find a new email in your inbox]

To: The Libra Integration Collaboration Enterprise aka "L.I.C.E."
From: Janet Jodee <jjodee@zodiac.com>
Subject: Job Assignment

Hello L.I.C.E.!

The board felt it'd be best if you guys were given a dedicated designation to help distinguish you from the other employees. I choose it myself, I hope you like it!

Anyway, I have a new mission assignment for you I was asked to pass along. The residents of Coral Island, which is located off the coast of Stardew Valley, has been experiencing issues with pollution and slime monsters from another dimension.

Since they are an important business partner, we'd like to get things sorted out. So, we're hoping you can help them, along with maybe convincing a few Libra app users to do the same.

You'll be heading out later this week, so that should give you plenty of time to prepare! Probably don't wear anything you're overly attached to this time, it's going to get slimey.

Good luck!

Best,
Janet Jodee
Senior Public Relations Executive Manager

[This is your mission for September! The Zodiac team can choose how they wish to go about this mission (more details about it will be in the September event log). If you are unable to participate, we can handwave involvement or make up an excuse to why]

un: o.kawabuchi

[deusversusmachina]

[Deep breaths, Ophelia. Deep breaths. A life on the run wouldn't be worth it, no matter how satisfying ending Janet would be...]

...Fine. But I'm not using that acronym.

un: janet_jodee | text | 10/2

[kaisoumods]

[Good morning, it is time your monthly email from Janet! Fun!]

To: The Libra Integration Collaboration Enterprise aka "L.I.C.E."
From: Janet Jodee <jjodee@zodiac.com>
Subject: Job Assignment

Hello L.I.C.E.!

I would like to remind everyone that if anyone--anyone at all--has information that could help us identify the miscreant or miscreants responsible for that awful prank earlier this month, it would benefit us all to come forward! I've been told that the HR department is offering a reward of a free lunch for anyone who is able to help us find them, so please keep that in mind!

Moving on, it seems this month we will have a gate that opens into The Unknown! I have been assured that that is the correct name, how exciting! As of yet, I don't have a new mission for you from the board. However, it seems several people from the Volunteer Early Realm Exploration Team have gone missing. If you happen to see them, either out and about during your day or while exploring the gate this month, please remind them of our absence policy and have them report into HR as soon as possible.

Best,
Janet Jodee
Senior Public Relations Executive Manager

un: oriel

[machaerae]

ANYWAY

A team going missing into a place called The Unknown, after that rather foreboding prophecy post, might warrant a little more cause for concern. But I'll be sure to remind them if I see them.

UN: janet_jodee | Text | 11/15

[kaisoumods]

[Good morning, it is time your monthly email from Janet! Fun!]

To: The Libra Integration Collaboration Enterprise aka "L.I.C.E."
From: Janet Jodee <jjodee@zodiac.com>
Subject: Potluck!

Hello L.I.C.E.!

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their hard work this month! You really did your all putting in overtime- especially you Ms. Cookie! For that, the board of directors have decided to increase the holiday bonus for this year by 20%! Also remember counseling services are available to all staff members!

Now, I know you may have forgotten during the whole Heartless invasion, but since the office is still in one peace we will still be having our annual Thanksgiving Office Potluck (or TOP as I like to call it!). Everyone is still expected to bring a dish or their assigned meal. And remember, either failure to bring something OR tampering with the food may result in your cubicle being moved to well... let's just say you wouldn't like your new location.

Do your best and bring on that holiday cheer!

Best,
Janet Jodee
Senior Public Relations Executive Manager

text; un: allin

[neverchanged]

Adding salt pepper and garlic to food isn't tampering, you useless office lamp. If you ask me, not using those things when they are readily available to you and listed in the recipe is nothing short of culinary terrorism.

Text | UN: n.angelo

[deathdiduspart]

2 things

1: do our bosses monitor this space?

The phrasing of the 2nd thing depends entirely on the context of thing 1

Oh right. Nico di Angelo. Professional migraine to Janet

I'm sometimes wfh because of certain magical complications when it rains

un: r.nakahara

[goodolrika]

Genuinely, I have no idea how closely this gets monitored, if it does at all.

Anyway hey, it's Rika. Unfortunately this GC isn't completely free of Janet, as much as we wish it was.

UN: janet_jodee | Text | 1/3

[kaisoumods]

[Good morning, it is time your monthly email from Janet! Fun!]

To: The Libra Integration Collaboration Enterprise aka "L.I.C.E."
From: Janet Jodee <jjodee@zodiac.com>
Subject: Happy New Year!

Hello L.I.C.E.!

Happy New Year! I hope you guys had a wonderful holiday and had a chance to do something fun! I know I did. :)

Just to let you know, Zodiac is doing a sponsorship with Pelican Town for their ice fishing competition. We're running a booth this year to help build relations. And since your team is all about building relations, you'll be expected to help run the booth. Shift schedules are attached to this email. Just remember to dress warm, I hear it's going to be very cold this year.

But remember, think positive! This is a wonderful opportunity for everyone! So we want you guys to bring that positive attitude to the event that you always bring! :)

Best,
Janet Jodee
Senior Public Relations Executive Manager

[And sure enough, attached to the email is a time table schedule of who has to run the booth when. Basically, it's the shift schedule from hell. Double shifts, turn around shifts, you name it]

text; un: allin

[neverchanged]

Full offense, this is hot garbage. Did you write this while desperately drinking your lonely New Years Eve away, Janet?

Guys, give me a half hour and I'll balance it myself

[He's especially pissed because this used to be his job. Literally fuck you, Janet.]

Text | UN: n.angelo; beginning of February

[deathdiduspart]

[Unfortunately for everyone in the break room at around 9:00 in the morning, Cupid delivers a message in Ancient Greek on the smart TV located in there. Cupid who is fully naked and awfully perky in the morning. What that means is up to interpretation. This is because Nico has left his phone at home and Cupid's stupid message has decided to project itself on the nearest smart device.

Nico wonders if it's way too late to call in sick as he listens to enough of the rant, in shock, before turning off the fucking TV. And the device will not turn off until the message has finished.

A little later, there's a... message in the group chat.]

If anyone was in the break room at like 9 today
Sorry about that
Eros Cupid whatever his stupid name is decided to include me in on some kind of "family Zoom call" but only he was talking
I was a Greek demigod in my past life and apparently I've now gotten that again in this one
Not happy about that, let me tell you
Anyway, I'm sorry for that but it will happen again and I'm not able to shut that down

text: UN:idontcare

[jaxoff]

[ Never has he been more grateful that he doesn't sit in the break room with you losers.

But given Jax runs Zodiac's tech systems, he WILL take this personally. ]

What do you mean you got called into a family zoom call? Through MY security systems???

[ Yes, yes, Nico said "demigod" ergo it was a god calling him (cupid.... whatever) and while some people might decide trying to stop a god from doing anything is insane, Jax isn't most people. ]

Naw, man. NAW. Nothing should be getting through these. I'm not having that.

text; un: knitpicking

[cutenessproximity]

Whatever this is, I'm pretty sure it could have waited for Monday.

[hey look it's that grumpy guy from accounting]

un: r.nakahara

[goodolrika]

Unfortunately, I'm not sure Janet is aware of the concept of "this could have waited for Monday".

Anyway, hey, Gwendal. Sorry you got dragged into this nonsense.