POKEGO GROUP CHAT [POKEGO MEMBERS ONLY] v.3

[kaisoumods]

P.O.K.E.G.O
Only with Knowledge can One Grow


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(Compiled by Professor Oak)


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Previous Chats: 2023 | 2024


[OOC: this is a catch-all group chat for the POKEGO members to use however they'd like. This chat is open ONLY to POKEGO members and is not actually part of the Libra app (but their own separate network). It should also be noted that while full members have the ability to create private filters, the apprentices do not. ]

Comments

[whiteshroud]

[....

You know those moments when the response you're going to give, you have enough self-awareness that you KNOW it's going to land you in hot water? Yeah. He's having that moment right now. ]

I'm... not downplaying it. Certainly not intentionally so.

How I react to my injuries is genuine.

1/3

[droptheious]

[There's a SIGNIFICANT pause here as Varian digests what is being told to him. That moment have to be creeping pretty hard down Jun's back right now. Sir??? SIR????]

That's not- NO??? That's- that's WORSE????

2/3

[droptheious]

[He loves his boyfriend. He loves his boyfriend and wants to spend the rest of his life with him.



But sometimes he wants to push him into a body of water. This is one of those times.

Deep breath. In. Out. He loves his boyfriend. ]

3/3

[droptheious]

Okay, but you see that's also actually pretty distressing? Because I know probably don't think... we're gonna stick to the stabbing example - you probably don't think that being stabbed is that big a deal. But for the vast majority of us? Stabbing kills people. And it's extremely upsetting to think about someone you love being stabbed because, again, mein herz, I cannot stress this enough that normally kills people.

So even if it's not a big deal for you? For us? Me? The "oh hey my boyfriend got stabbed!" is actually a really worrying concept to deal with. And it would be easier to process if you gave it just a smidge more gravitas? Just a little. And this does not mean avoid telling us because it's easier to do that than let us be worried about something that happened to you, I'm headed that one off at the pass.

Just. I don't know. Understand that what's not a big scary injury to you might be to us and understand we probably need to be let gently into a "I got stabbed today". Probably accept you're gonna get a little fussing about it too. A little.

[whiteshroud]

[Yeah here we go. Jun knows he's in trouble. He's really trying to listen, he is. It's not like he wants to upset Varian like this. He doesn't like doing it at all! But...

He feels completely out of his depth here. ]

What do you mean by more gravitas? Do I ask you to sit down, or make sure to use proper punctuation?

[Emotional expression isn't easy for him on a GOOD day. He sighs, feeling like an asshole for even asking these questions]

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be dismissive of your feelings.

[droptheious]

[Varian at least is trying to temper his instinct to get snippy. He has a short fuse at the best of times and tends to go in guns blazing when he's unhappy. But he does understand that Jun is genuinely not sure how to handle this. He's spent a good chunk of his life with a horrific cult and he understands that's skewed how he handles his injuries.

He takes another deep breath. Okay. Okay. ]

I know you're not. I'm not mad at you it's just- worrying is all.

[He sits back, thinking. ]

Yeah, like. Gently easing me into it. Sitting down is good.

[But no, he knows Jun needs more than this. Jun's got emotional repression up the wazoo and he knows that it's hard for his boyfriend to grasp hold of them at the best of times. But Varian is nothing if not someone who can find solutions to problems.

Would a chart help? Like, a sliding scale of injuries from mild to severe and the level of worry I'd have about them? So you can prepare for how to tackle it? I can give a list of the better ways to tell me about it along with the list too. Not... not telling you how to feel, obviously, I'd never do that. But would that help in... I don't know, figuring out what to expect?

[whiteshroud]

[It certainly does skew his perspective on things, and none of this is intentional. He's just. Completely lost to what the correct response should be

So when Varian offers a chart? It feels like being offered a huge lifeline. ]

A chart?

That... sounds like it would be very helpful to have, actually. Just so I can use for reference and react accordingly. Thank you.

[droptheious]

[ Varian at least spent enough time with Jun to understand a little of how his dear heart's mind worked. Much as it was often the complete opposite of how he, himself, handled emotions, he understands and can figure ways to help. ]

Of course! I'll draw one up for you. And it's okay if there's hiccups while you get used to it. If I ever get a little freaked out, I'm never mad at you, okay? I do understand it's not easy for you. So I'll try and make it easier, and we can... baby step it while you get used to it. Mistakes and misunderstandings... they might happen, but they'll be okay, yeah?

I can even add a scale of what sort of reaction you might expect depending on how close you are to a person. After all, an acquaintance would be less worried about a broken arm than a friend would- but they'd both be very worried if that arm dropped off.

[whiteshroud]

[It's in moments like these that he's deeply grateful for Varian. This has been something he's struggled with for years, people reacting negatively to his lack of reaction towards pain. So to have an actual chart that'd help him understand what they are looking for ...]

Alright, I'll be sure to study the chart once it's ready.

[He takes a deep breath]

Thank you, Var. I ... doubt this is an aspect about me that can be fixed, but... if there's a way to minimize your suffering, I'd like that.

[There's a lot of stuff he's worked on over the years, through time and therapy. And he likes to think he's made a lot of progress with gluing back together broken off pieces of himself.

But there's so much you can do when something's been shattered. It's not like there was to undo all the hurt he was made to go through to make him like this.]

[droptheious]

Great, I really hope it helps.

[There's a quiet moment, and then a soft hrrrn sound on Varian's end. It's the noise he makes when something doesn't sit quite right with him. ]

You don't need fixing, you know. You're not broken. There's things you've been though that have hurt you and brought you to where you are, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You're working on yourself really well and you're willing to try to work on more, that's what matters here. It's- it's not about fixing you, it's about making things easier for you to communicate and for everyone else to hear you. It's a tool to help, that's all.

[ And he would fight genuinely anyone over that stance. Even Jun. Especially Jun. ]

[whiteshroud]

[He recognizes that noise, going quiet as he listens to what's to follow (As if he knows one thing about Var, he doesn't hold back his opinion when he has it). And when the opinion is given...damn.]

Var...

... Thank you, for being the way you are. I really am lucky to have you.

[He's not sure if he truly believes all the words himself, but.. it feels really good to know there's someone fighting for him, even if it is against him]

[droptheious]

[Varian can always be counted on to provide a no-holes-barred opinion, that much is very true. Still this brings a smile to his fave even if Jun can't see it. ]

You're welcome, and I'm lucky to have you too, never forget that.

[He knows Jun has problems believing it just as much as he struggles to find much faith in himself. He figures so long as they can fight each other's corners, they'll be able to work this out. ]

[whiteshroud]

I'll be my best to remember, but I'm sure you'll remind me if I don't.

[He's sure about that much. He struggles to like himself, but Varian was always there for him- just as he always tried to be there for Varian]

But seriously, thank you for the chart. It'll be a big help.

[droptheious]

You better believe it! I give minimal leeway on that was as always!

[Because he will simply not allow Jun to feel bad things about himself. It's banned. Because he said so. ]

You're welcome. I'll get it done up for you in the next few days. Make it really colourful and everything.