kaisoumods | past regains

past regains

Secret Log: Purgatory

Congrats on your untimely death! After you die, you will awaken in a very drab waiting room. The only other people in the waiting area seems to be the others who also died back at the cabin. On the wall, there is a sign that reads: Welcome to Purgatory! Please take a number and wait while your soul is processed for its next destination. Thank you. Sure enough, under the sign there is one of those old number ticket machines.

From there, there is nothing to do but... wait! There are plenty of old chairs to sit in (some are even comfortable), along with stacks of magazines that are all discontinued. If you get hungry, there is a cabinet and fridge that is full of various discontinued snacks and drinks. Fancy yourself a New Coke or Pepsi Blue?

Finally, there is an old fashioned tv and antennae. You can use this either to watch some cancelled shows or watch a feed of what's going on back at the cabin. You'll have to deal with adjusting the antenna regularly and bad reception though.

That's about it for purgatory though! Enjoy your stay.

[OOC: This is the log for all the characters that die during the October Horror plot! It's up to you if your character is still affected by the roles given to them by the plot. Please do not discuss or link this log anywhere outside the Purgatory chat until October 15th. After October 15th, this log will be shown to everyone else. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rose comes in rather anticlimactically and doesn't say anything for the first day she's there or so. There's a lot on her mind right now, about who she thought she was and who she actually is.]

[And about how much she doesn't like the soda here. Dear gods, she's glad this never came to Hingashi.]

[When she finally speaks, it's after taking a long, hard, look around the room.]

I'm not sure if I expected something better, or something worse. Should I be happy?

Rose-?

[Once again, Waver made the critical mistake of trying to stand up and immediately his leg nearly buckled underneath him. Leading him to simultanerously stagger and lean heavily on his cane, breaking out into a sudden cold sweat and trying to focus on the issue at hand.]

Are you--what happened? Are you alright?

[Right. Rose passed days before Waver, but he probably didn’t realize. There was so much going on—-she can’t quite blame him.]

I could ask the same of you.

[Except she knows what happened.]

I was trying to protect my friend. It didn’t work. By any measure.

[He'd been very distracted by, among other things, an overpowering compulsion to be an enormous nerd.]

I'm sorry. Sounds like we're in something of the same boat on that one.

It is what it is, unfortunately.

[She shakes her head.]

And here I was, cautioning Diarmuid to not do the same. I made him promise, in fact. But in the end, I'm no different.

...I don't think that's the worst thing in the world. It's--not exactly great for a whole long list of reasons, mind you, but protecting others is just what a knight is meant to do. If it comes at cost to oneself, then...

[He sighed, sitting back down and running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face.]

...at least they're alive. Even if the cost is high and the pain with it difficult to bear, it's better that than death. So I'm not going to say you're wrong or anything stupid like that.

Perhaps. But I merely stayed his death for a few hours. And, those creatures--those abominations--used my voice to lure him out after the fact.

[She sighs. Now that she realizes what these feelings are, she might as well voice them.]

Back home, I always cursed my role. I didn't want to be a damn hero, and I wasn't good at it. I would have given anything to return to being normal like I once was.

[Rose shakes her head. She doesn't like this.]

But only now do I realize that, despite everything I hated, there's something that role gave me--power. I had the power to protect myself and the ones I love. Here, not even my death could prevent the inevitable.

...Sometimes it just doesn't work. Sometimes despite your every best effort, despite having whatever power you need and doing everything right, you still fail.

[He gestured for her to sit down, offering a hand if she wanted to take it in silent support.]

That's just how the world works; unjust, unfair, and indifferent to both. But that doesn't mean there isn't value in trying. Maybe sacrifice buys someone seconds, minutes, or years--would knowing that in the moment truly change whether or not you would try to save them or not?

...I think you would do it regardless. Because you're something more important than just being a hero--you're a kind and caring person.

[She takes his hand. She doesn't look happy--but it's nothing to do with him. It's the situation. She doesn't want to be here, and even more than that, she doesn't want people she cares about to be here.]

I hate that when I was young I thought the world was fair and kind--when I was just lucky.

I hate that even knowing how it ended, I wouldn't do anything different. Or maybe I don't hate it, I don't know.

[It's difficult.]

I hate that you're right--I am kind and caring. But if we somehow make it out of here, or if we meet in the next life, I'm begging you not to tell anyone.

Sometimes I think it must be so much easier to accept the kind of world we live in and go through life an amoral jackass. And I hate that stupid kid who ever thought it would be easy to change a world like that. But given the chance, I'd do every stupid mistake and idiot decision over again as well.

[He shook his head, laughing bitterly.]

Nobody can save the world. All anyone can ever do is...try to make it a little better. If doing that much costs me my life, then I can't say I mind that. Thirty's already a good couple years longer than I expected to live anyway.

...Don't tell anybody I said that, and you've got a deal.

Longer than you expected to live? I hate to say it, but I can relate.

[When your day job involves fighting gods on the regular and heading to the edge of the universe to dance with death itself, there's only so much you can count on.]

Then it's a promise. And if--no, when--we get out of here, we can focus on making Kaisou a better place, too.

[She opens her eyes. When did she?]

If you'd like, you can also forget I said that.

...I'd like that. I could sure as hell use the help, if my track record of doing things on my own is any indication. It can just be our secret and everyone else can go on thinking we're insufferably annoying if they like.

Deal.

[Rose cracks a small smile. There was no guarantee they'd go back, this could really be the end.]

[But at the end of the day, though she'd never admit it, she was an optimist. Despite her thorny demeanor, she always hoped for the best. And this time, there was something telling her they'd wake up another day, whatever evidence there was to the contrary.]

Rose... [Diarmuid knew Rose had died. That was at least part of the pyre that was his wrath set alight by Waver's death. Seeing her in this Purgatory, however, made his heart sink. Like it set in only just now that she did.

What hurt worse was that inevitably, she would see him. She would address him. She would probably be angry with him, as was her right. At this point it was a matter of ripping the bandage off. He would address it himself, let her lash out. There had been plenty of that on his part this day. He ought to face the consequences of his actions.]

I'm sorry. I... I could not keep my word to you.

[Rose should be mad. She should be furious.]

[But she can’t be, at least not at Diarmuid. For all the game she talked about not sacrificing yourself to save others, she’s not different at all. It turns out that the choice had just never been presented to her.]

[She hates this.]

Don’t worry, I’m not going to scold you.

[She pauses.]

Not when I made the same bloody choice.

...

[He... wasn't expecting that in all honestly. It would have been easier for her to simply scold him, lash out at him. But if she said that, if that was what she wanted to go with.]

Then I'll say nothing more on that matter. [They were all tired. She's been here for a few days longer than Diarmuid. Any anger or intensity she felt in her heart must have long since faded to resignation or just overshadowed by the fatigue of it all.]

Are you going to be alright? [A bit of a pointless question to ask, but his way with words was gone right now. Threw them all at Waver's expense.]

[Words are pointless anyway. Honestly, Rose wasn't sure what to expect when it finally happened, and so she feels lucky to still be able to speak at all.]

[Surely, nothing she says will serve to haunt her in the coming days.]

I'm not sure. I've been close to death before--extremely close--but I've never seen the other side. I'm a bit scared to be honest.

Although, I'm not sure what good being scared does here.

[Of course she had been. Even with her demeanor and unwillingness to openly confess about it, there were the subtle signs of experience with death. In her tone, in her eyes, in her revulsion for it all.

With that revulsion would naturally come fear for seeing it again. For being at the other end of it.

... Even Diarmuid, brave and handsome Diarmuid ua Duibhne was frightened out of his mind. It was unclear whether him reaching out to Rose, laying a hand upon her shoulder was to reassure himself or her. Both, perhaps. He wouldn't mind both.]

The strongest among us would feel fear upon staring down the eyes of Death. We are still able to feel it even here. In some way, surely, that means we may survive this and emerge on the other side with our friends.

You sound practiced on the matter.

[Regardless of the intent, it helps.]

[She wants to see home again. She wants to see all of her friends again. She wants to see Vash's smile. She wants to see Takame's eyes light up when he sees Yusuke. She wants to see them all working at the Vogue, with Zulius at the center of the runway.]

[And now she doesn't know if she will. She can only hope, as much as it seems unlikely.]

I wouldn't be surprised if death here worked as strangely as everything else. But perhaps that's just how I'd want it to be--I'm not ready to say goodbye.

More than you realize. [A humorless huff of a laugh, a smile with no glee behind it.]

It is only thanks to this world I am able to speak with you. [He left that vague. It could mean anything, the fact that they were from separate worlds, the fact that he could speak at all. Who knows.

At this point he wouldn't hesitate to elaborate. He simply thanked whatever Gods presided over this world every day that he could make more friends without fear or guilt. To say nothing of the fact that this was how he was able to see and love Waver again.]

I've seen the world open around me for the first time since I lived as a human. I've seen what brings my new friends joy. If hoping that you do not need to say goodbye yet is foolish, then brand me as such until the day comes that I do bid this world farewell.

I suppose that's true.

[Rose isn't going to think about the implications of that, because if she does, she'll be able to put the dots together. And she doesn't want to. That would be too sad.]

You're a good person, Diarmuid, thank you. I hope--no, I know--we'll see everyone again.

It was nothing. If anything I'm overjoyed to hear that from a person as wonderful as you.

[Even in these somber moments, Diarmuid could pull his way with words back out for another's sake. The hope he gave to Rose was truly his own, after all, and it brought back more of himself.]

We will. Their cherished company will not be lost to us today.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

past regains

Day 2 Onwards

day 4

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Good to end the thread here?

day 4

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject