past regains

[kaisoumods]

Secret Log: Purgatory

Congrats on your untimely death! After you die, you will awaken in a very drab waiting room. The only other people in the waiting area seems to be the others who also died back at the cabin. On the wall, there is a sign that reads: Welcome to Purgatory! Please take a number and wait while your soul is processed for its next destination. Thank you. Sure enough, under the sign there is one of those old number ticket machines.

From there, there is nothing to do but... wait! There are plenty of old chairs to sit in (some are even comfortable), along with stacks of magazines that are all discontinued. If you get hungry, there is a cabinet and fridge that is full of various discontinued snacks and drinks. Fancy yourself a New Coke or Pepsi Blue?

Finally, there is an old fashioned tv and antennae. You can use this either to watch some cancelled shows or watch a feed of what's going on back at the cabin. You'll have to deal with adjusting the antenna regularly and bad reception though.

That's about it for purgatory though! Enjoy your stay.

[OOC: This is the log for all the characters that die during the October Horror plot! It's up to you if your character is still affected by the roles given to them by the plot. Please do not discuss or link this log anywhere outside the Purgatory chat until October 15th. After October 15th, this log will be shown to everyone else. ]

Comments

[fionnuisce]

I shouldn't have snapped at you. And I'm sorry--well, okay, I'm not and I'd do it again if you were in trouble--but I'm sorry for hurting you like that.

[That concession was the best he could do; Diarmuid of all people understood there could be no apology for what wasn't regretted, only for what was. As he spoke he simply offered his hand to the man beside him, to take or not if he chose.]

...thanks for looking out for those two. You did well, and if either of them shows up after us I'm going to hand you my cane and ask you to hit them.

[twofoldfury]

Nor should I have reacted the way I did. I apologize as well. [He felt regret in his heart. On the surface of it. Again, a habitual one for snapping at his Master.

It was as paper blown away in the wind compared to his true feelings. He did not regret it one bit. He didn't regret what he said or did. He didn't regret telling Waver to back off when he overstepped. The worst thing he did was handle it less than ideally.

Any other circumstances a quip like that would be met with a bit of a laugh. Right now he was too tired for that, even if it was a little amusing. There was a weak huff as if to make the attempt anyway.]

With luck I won't need to. And we will see the two of them on the other side.

[fionnuisce]

It's okay. Or it'll be okay, I think. We're not dead just yet, and I'm not going anywhere else without you.

[twofoldfury]

We still have a chance. We'll take it together.

[Said hanging his head, some sense of shame lingering from the promise he broke.

He set a hand on Waver's injured leg where he sat. Just to remind himself that they were both alive in some fashion. Any body warmth he'll take even from inflamed nerves of a damaged limb. Warmth meant life.]

Thank you. [For saving him. Even if it didn't last.]

[fionnuisce]

...you don't have to thank me. [Pain was proof he was still alive, scars both visible and otherwise a tangible reminder that he could survive even the impossible. Even when he didn't survive, apparently.]

[...He really didn't want to think about that right now. If Waver let himself dwell on how absolutely terrified he actually was to know he was about to die, it would invalidate the reason he'd done it at all. Frightened or not, there was no reason to regret the action. He'd die a hundred times over if it meant sparing Diarmuid, or anyone else he cared for if that was what it took.]

[The real trick was trying to stop his hands from shaking as he took Diarmuid's in his own, squeezing gently to reassure them both.]

...I understand now. There were days I wished you hadn't protected me back then, but...you really couldn't do anything else, could you?

[twofoldfury]

[Right. He would say that.

He, too, was a Knight of Fianna after all. So Diarmuid said nothing more on the matter.]

Do what you believe is right.

[They could both stand to borrow one another's strength right now so he gave Waver's hand a squeeze of his own to stop the shaking before it began.]

What I believed was right that day... was seeing that you saw the day after. It was the only option.

[fionnuisce]

I...I know. I don't like it, but I understand. [That was kind of the point. Waver would never even think to order Lancer to save his life at the cost of the Servant's own; that was something that had to be done of his own will.] There was nothing else I could do; you were the only one capable of making sure those two idiots still had a chance. And even if you weren't, I couldn't-...I-

[Waver's voice cracked, and he swallowed hard against what felt like broken glass in his throat.]

I couldn't bear that again, Diarmuid. Losing you twice would have killed me anyway.

[twofoldfury]

I know. [They both knew now. They thought the same thing.

You are the best chance for everyone's future.

Diarmuid did before the clash of two world ending Noble Phantasms. Waver did in the seconds before the monster struck.

It was hearing his voice shatter that Diarmuid felt the remorse harder than ever for his failure.]

It had to be done... but forgive me for not keeping my promise to you. [For wasting your sacrifice, he did not say.]

[fionnuisce]

[For a moment Waver couldn't find his voice, and just shook his head. Deep breath, quickly pulling himself together. If they got out, then he could break down later. When they were safely out of sight of anyone else, they could both collapse if that was what they needed.]

...I left you first. So you don't...have anything to apologize for. As long as somebody made it out of this mess, then none of it was meaningless and we did at least one thing right.